10-Minute Sunday Stories For Growing Grownups

I'm Nick. I'm the hero of this story. Except I'm no hero. Not anymore. I'm middle-aged and I'm tired. Now I'm here to reclaim my superpowers.

We will talk about it. Every other week.

This will take 3 minutes.

1. Suddenly Grey, Grey, Grey

A morning.

I flick on the bathroom light.

Bright, white nothingness explodes around me, blinds me for a moment.

My eyes adjust. I gaze at the mirror: grey hair, grey man, grey life. I remember when there used to be colour.

"I'm alright."

"I can't complain," I convince myself.

My tired eyes squint at the grey man. I take a deep breath and agree with myself: I can't complain. I'm still alright.

2. Welcome To The Club

I'm 46.

Pretty much exactly 15 years older than I should be. But here I am. Clearly off the mark.

Happy kids, happy wife, happy life. On track. On target. On the money. That's how it's supposed to go.

But that's beside the point. I'm beside the point. 15 years off the mark at least. Well, that's one way to measure it.

Other ways include the value of money in my bank account, the hours of time I lay awake at night, the glasses of scotch I drink by myself, or the watts of power I'm able to propel my bike with.

We will talk about it. Every other Sunday.

3. The Wrong Turn

"How the fuck did I get here?" I ask myself.

But of course I know the answer.

I have this thought that keeps reappearing: there are moments in life where you make a choice, and this single choice puts you on a whole different path.

This one choice sets off a series of events that takes you to a completely different place in life. Now I look back and wonder "Where did I make that choice?"

But of course I know the answer.

We will talk about it. Every other Sunday.

4. It Is What It Is

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm here now.

I reminisce sometimes. Heck, I should be a goddamn hero by now. But instead, I'm a loser. At least that's what my wife tells me. A 'lazy failure'. But that's a whole different story. At least we're still married. Sort of.

We will talk about it. Every other Sunday.

5. Fuck You Life, I Love You!

I would never confess this to her. But between you and me: she isn't wrong. This is a hard one to swallow. Especially with having kids and responsibilities and expenses and vices and fucking aching joints and a life or whatever this is. You know, the whole shebang.

There's one thing I know: I'm not lazy. And I'm not a failure. Well, there you go, that's two things. I'm on a roll.

Here's one thing I'll admit: I do feel like a failure sometimes.

Look, I haven't gone grey to deny that life will grab you by the balls. Because it does. You and I know that. Life is a sneaky motherfucker that way.

It lulls you into the whole job, wife, kids, dog, house thing before you're even done growing hair in all your hair-growing places.

Then one day you wake up and you're everyone's dick.

So, fuck you, life!

But if relationships have taught me anything it's this. Say "I love you!"

Fuck you, life – I love you!

We will talk about it. Every other Sunday.

6. Now What?

So here I am. My name is Nick. 

Nick Lions.

I'm done with half of my life. But I'm more done with being done.

It's still early. My thoughts are slow. I think I'm trying to say this: there's another me inside of me. A better one. Capable. Proficioned. Less afraid. Less loser. Unburdened. Unfailured.

That creature is always gazing out from behind those windows in my skull.

The grey person I'm staring at, and the creature that's staring are not the same.

I realize this more often now. More often than in my younger years.

I'm going to make them one again. Whole again. It's time.

I can't do this alone. So fuck it. You're coming with me

Because you are me. And I am you.

I am all of us.

We are getting older and we are feeling it. We are confident but we are not.

We have lost our superpowers. And we want them back.

We have more to live. More to give. More to take. We have more to be.

Let's be together.

Here's what I will do:

Every second Sunday I will send you my story. Our story.

To entertain you. And to share inspiration, motivation & tools to help us be again.

10-Minute Sunday Stories For Growing Grownups. Every other week.

So long,